I performed at my first open mic! Yay for me!
I fully intend to perform again, with more of an edge next time. If you weren't there at Tiger Lily here is the set I performed:
"Good evening everyone! How are we tonight?"
Good, good, is anyone in the audience single?
Everyone's already hooked up?
(The audience starts pointing out singles)
Don't feel bad, I'm single too because religion has really messed up dating for me.
You see, since I was a little girl, I've been told to find a man like Jesus.
Here's what I know about Jesus:
1. He's invisible
2. He hangs out with harlots
3. In the religion I was raised in he's my brother
(laughter followed by ewhhhh)
But I'm a problem solver. So I think to myself, where can I find an invisible man?...Internet dating!
Now, if Jesus is half as disappointing as the guys I met through internet dating, I'm not sure I want to meet Jesus in person.
So I tried to find men who hang out with harlots, but the only harlot I know is my sister-in-law.
(gasp and laugh)
AND she's married to my brother!
I guess it's time to evolve my ideas about dating.
(applause, applause, applause!)
Real short and sweet, but next time will be more of a set rather than a "bit."